Growing up Gay in a Not-so-Gay Home

My life story is intertwined with the passing decades navigating transformations, personal challenges and ultimately embracing my identity.

Created by author on nightcafe.studio

The Beginning

I was born in the early 70s into a conservative Christian household. My father was a self-employed carpenter who moved us frequently. By the time I had reached middle school we had moved five times! Each of those moves meant a new school and new friends. Finally in sixth grade we moved to a small town in Western Michigan and never moved again.

This new found stability allowed our family to grow strong roots both in the community and the church. Our lives revolved around the church—attending services twice on Sundays and once on Wednesday nights—a testament to our faith. However this faith also imposed beliefs about sexuality deeming being gay not unacceptable but as a sinful choice that would condemn me to eternal damnation.

Puberty hit hard in sixth grade and, as is typical, my hormones began to go into …